Introductions can be awkward when you’re trying to keep in mind so many considerations at the same time: Are you making eye contact? Is your posture good? What’s the right name order? How are you saying your words? What’s your next statement? It can feel like you are performing instead of connecting.
Here is an introduction that doesn’t feel scripted or over-formal: it feels real.
An introduction doesn’t have to be long. You can introduce yourself, or introduce someone, using a short formula: Use the other person’s name, give a friendly hello, and add some brief context. “Hello, Maya, it’s nice to meet you. I’m coming here with Daniel from the design.” “Hi. I’m Lena. A friend of the host here.” These lines give the other person some information they can work with, and that is enough, rather than an elaborate explanation.
When we make an introduction, we sometimes feel like we need to add all of our reasons and explanations for being there, or how we know the person or what happened earlier, or why we feel weird, all before anyone has a chance to respond. This often adds more stress to the introduction, rather than helping the situation.
A good first impression is made by leaving some space for the other person to speak or respond, smile and ask the next question, or offer their name. That little space is not rude; it’s a normal part of polite turn-taking.
When introducing two people to each other: use a similar formula: use both names, and add a little context, if that is useful. “Mika, this is Ren. Ren, this is Mika. I know you both love a quiet dinner out.” Make sure the context is not too personal, don’t include too many details, don’t over-praise them, and don’t give the person any information they might not want anyone else to know.
Try the following exercise: prepare and speak out three different styles of the same introduction, such as: casual, semi-formal and formal, and see which works best in which situation. For a casual one, make the introduction more friendly and less formal. For a more formal one, make your introduction more formal in tone and style, with a little more care about your posture, your name order and eye contact.
Your non-verbal communication should not distract or compete with your introduction. Try speaking clearly enough so others can hear you, especially if it is a noisy room. Stand or sit with good posture but don’t be stiff. Have your hands where others can see them, and make some eye contact, but don’t stare. If you have forgotten their name, ask for it politely, don’t pretend you remembered for the sake of not breaking the rhythm of a conversation: “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name, do you mind telling me again?”
After you have introduced someone, make the next line an easy response for them. Small talk questions work well, such as “Have you come to this place before?” “How do you know the host?” or “Did you have too far to travel today?” Don’t ask something too personal right away. If they give a short response, you can give a short response too, and give them a chance to move the conversation, or politely leave it there. A good introduction is where each person feels like they can go on if they want to, without being forced or stuck.